The Cost of Diversity
An Ocean Story
(best viewed full screen on a computer)
We are the inhabitants of a vast and deep ocean.
Some of us happily live near the surface where the sunlight warms our skin and the water is clear. We flow along with the currents, exploring far and wide.
Others of us are deep water creatures who relish the quiet stillness. We explore hidden mysteries with great curiosity.
Countless treasures are found in every part of the ocean - new knowledge, insights, and ideas that help us in many ways. We gather them up excitedly.
Sometimes we see others far outside our natural depth and feel called to join them.
We make the long swim to meet them. We arrive tired, but we are glad that our new friends welcome us and are fascinated by our treasures.
These new treasures expand their way of seeing. Their treasures expand our way of seeing too.
Sometimes it can be difficult to remain at other depths - the water pressure is different from what we are used to.
Sometimes the others do not realize how far we have to swim to meet them. They do not understand why it can be hard for us to keep up.
Sometimes the others do not recognize the treasures that we offer, assuming that they are just strange rocks.
They may begin to think that there is something wrong with us.
Sometimes we do not even realize the toll it takes on us to be so far outside our natural depth. We wonder why we struggle so much.
We may start to believe that there really is something wrong with us and that our treasures really are just strange rocks.
We may feel so exhausted that we eventually stop swimming.
In these times, we can find strength by reminding ourselves of the beauty of our natural depth and the treasures we find there.
We can acknowledge the far distances we swim and feel proud that we do so to connect with and help others.
We can also remember to have self-compassion - swimming is hard work!
When we start appreciating our own natural depth, we can better help others understand where we come from.
In doing so, perhaps they may even wish to visit our part of the ocean!
Sometimes we may realize that the distance is too far and it is too difficult to keep swimming to each other. That is perfectly okay.
We can still feel grateful for the time we had together and for all the treasures we shared.
We dream of a day when we all become stronger swimmers - able to explore all parts of the ocean, make many friends, and collect all the treasures.
What a beautiful and colourful ocean we could create!
Thank you to friends from across all ocean depths who generously provided feedback on early drafts of this story: Meghan Hellstern, Naryan Wong, Fernando Lopez, Leah Bae, Mary Li, Liz Ren, David Hu, Jennifer Ma, and Henry Chen. And thank you to The Adaway Group for first introducing me to the concept of invisible labour at your DEI training.
Reflection
Note: The depths of the ocean represent any kind of difference. You can choose to interpret them as personality types, belief systems, cultural lenses, languages, neurological wiring, domains of expertise, personal experiences etc.
Questions for individuals:
In what ways do I see myself as the blue fish? In what ways do I see myself an orange fish?
What is my natural depth? How might I better understand the natural depth of others?
How far are others swimming to meet me? How far am I swimming to meet them?
How often do I offer my treasures? How well am I able to recognize and receive treasures of others?
Questions for group (eg. family, community, team, organization, nation):
What are the natural depths of the individuals in our group?
How often and effectively are we swimming towards each other?
Are some of us needing to swim much farther than others? How are we supporting these individuals?
How might we become even better at swimming towards each other and receiving each others’ gifts?
Questions for leaders:
What kind of diversity do we want in our group? What are the reasons behind this?
What kind of diversity do we not want in our group? What are the reasons behind this?
How am I intentionally helping our group to recognize its diversity and integrate differences in a generative way? (eg. training, coaching, incentives, culture feedback surveys, new practices, etc)
Aside
As humans, we are diverse in many wonderful ways. Sometimes differences are visible (eg. skin colour, age), but many differences are less obvious (eg. personality types, belief systems, values, cultural lenses, neurological wiring, etc). My hope is that this Ocean Story helps us become aware of the invisible labour it takes to swim across differences of all kinds. I also hope that it sparks compassion for ourselves and others in the times when this is difficult.
It can be easy to fall into a reactive state when others do not think or act the way we do. I encourage us to notice when this happens and consciously shift towards curiosity and appreciation. This means slowing down, listening deeply, and developing mental agility. This can be applied to our romantic relationships, families, social circles, teams, organizations, and communities.
As more communities and organizations promote diversity, we must recognize that there is a cost to bringing diverse people together. Leaders of these systems should invest resources to enable healthy integration, otherwise the cost is borne by minority individuals who may feel they must mold themselves to the majority. When this happens, the gift of their differences is sadly lost and it may be difficult for them to stay.
While we must recognize that there is a cost to diversity, I hope that we collectively see this as a worthwhile and necessary investment towards a more inclusive and radiant ocean.
If you would like to discuss these ideas, I’d love to hear from you. Share a comment below or message me via my contact form. I also offer coaching to help leaders, teams, and organizations to navigate these topics.
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