What grief feels like

 

(Play music and scroll through the images)

A violent tidal wave

erupts through the veil

Unbearable weight drags me

down into the depths

Heart-cries drowned out by

a terrifying empty void

once filled with your light

In this isolating darkness

my body lies crushed

in agony

for what seems like

an eternity.

Time

space

breath

healing

Within this enduring sorrow

I am gently awakened

by a distant sunrise

and

slowly

turn

towards

it.


A few months ago I almost lost someone very close to me. Suffice to say, it was a frightening time and it shifted my perception about life and endings. Thankfully the danger passed, but I was still flooded by a wave of grief and dark visions as we brushed up against a terrible reality that almost came to be. With time, I’ve been able to revisit the experience and process it more fully. Visual journaling has helped, and above is some of what emerged.

I know many of you have experienced great loss recently and my heart reaches out to you. I hope you continue to be kind and compassionate towards yourselves, taking all the time you need. We may wish to distance ourselves from overwhelming emotions and that is perfectly okay. If and when we ever do feel ready, art may be a gentle way to help us process our experience, however dark, messy, and uncomfortable it may be.

I’ve heard that we never truly get over our loss, we only learn to live with it. With time, our heart space may gradually expand enough to let back in light, love, and peace as companions to our grief.

Music: My Lovely Angel by Ashot-Danielyan

 

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